The Gift of Marriage

My blog life is pitiful. I always have the best of intentions to write down my life's experiences...then life just happens. One day for some reason, I'm reminded that I do indeed have a blog and I have neglected it yet again. The last time I posted, our sweet Caroline was a newborn. Well...she's a feisty 3 and half year old now! She attends preschool at our church, loves anything glittery, sparkly and girly and adores her family. I'm not really here to write about her today though. Well...I'll give you a picture of her since she's just so dang cute.

So today, I'm here to write about marriage. Because I'm an expert? NO WAY. My marriage is nearly 10 years in. We've been together since I was 18 years old. I'm now 32. I've grown up. I've learned. We've become parents. We've moved and fought and cried and laughed. 

Guys, marriage is hard. It's hard to keep things fresh. Hard to remember the butterflies that seem like they fluttered away years ago. 

One of our pastors challenged our Sunday School class (all young married couples) to do The Love Dare during Lent this year. My husband and I are on day 26 of the 40 day dare. It has been so refreshing to sit in bed together every single night and read together, write, reflect, pray and talk about us. I feel our relationship has been strengthened already. I know that God has become a more pivotal role in our marriage and I know He has overseen our growth in Him and in each other. 

Let me back up and say that we do not have any massive marital problems. No affairs or extreme dishonesty. No addiction or huge gaps in opinions. But, we do seem to have grown apart over the years. We are not as lovey dovey as we once were. I'm sure a lot of people will say 'well, that's normal. The honeymoon phase can't last forever, honey!'. I say, WHY NOT?? As far as I'm concerned, I shouldn't have to be content with mediocrity. I'm not by any means expecting grand romantic gestures everyday. I simply want to be aware of the gift of my marriage, rely on God to guide us through and enjoy my husband. 

My faults are many. I know that I've been disrespectful, used hateful words, torn down when I should be building up...the list unfortunately goes on and on. Since starting the Dare, my eyes have been opened to my unacceptable behavior. I'm ashamed to say that I've been a bad wife. It's the truth though. Any time I roll my eyes, speak in anger, ignore him or choose not to put him first I'm dishonoring him. My chosen mate. The man I chose and more importantly the man GOD chose for me. What a slap in the face to them both. I don't intend on being perfect from now on. I will definatley make mistakes. I will get mad. He will too. But I've decided my pride is not as important as my marriage. In fact, God tells us not to be prideful. Why would I sabotage my own marriage in favor of selfish pride? Seeing that question in black and white makes me wonder why I ever have. It's petty and small. My husband, my marriage and my God deserve more. 

My husband is a good man. His heart is generous and kind. He is an amazing father who loves his daughter beyond description. He loves me. In spite of all the ways I've fallen short. He provides for us and works tirelessly. Watching him sit and do this Love Dare with me has made my heart soar. It's made me realize that, no...he doesn't show love in the way I would hope (flowers, romantic gestures, blah blah blah) but he shows his love for me every single day. He never misses a day bringing me my first cup of coffee in bed. He never complains about cleaning the kitchen after I cook. He never fails to praise me for meals I prepare. He always asks me how my day was and genuinely cares. He rarely complains when I ask him to go BACK to the grocery store for the 5th time because I forgot I needed one more ingredient. He loves my family like his own. He doesn't mind that I want to be with them all the time like we're the Waltons. He loves our church. The church I grew up in. The list is really endless. He just loves. I am so thankful. Is he perfect? Nope. But I'm not either. Clearly. 

So, I'm writing today to say if you are in a great happy perfect marriage, good for you! If you're normal and things are not rainbows and puppies 24/7, PLEASE invest in your marriage. Complete the Love Dare with your spouse. We aren't even finished yet and I'm so very thankful we're doing it. I believe it helps you to see the value in your marriage and in your mate like you never have before. It opens your eyes to the great gift of marriage God created for us and the blessings you receive from it. I believe that no matter if your marriage is crumbling apart and hanging on by a tiny thread or if you're just sort of bored and floating through life, this dare is for you. I have thankfully learned that my husband is not nor will he ever be my enemy. We are teammates. He is my best friend. My support. The one whom my soul loves. Thank you, Jesus for this gift.

xo,

Melissa

''I have found the one whom my soul loves...'

          Song of Solomon 3:4